Schitz?

Have you seen the shits on TV?

The Schitz?

The shits.

The Schitz?

Yeah, shits?

Schitz?

What?

The Bra

Roommate from her bathroom: "TAKE IT OFF!!!"

First Impressions

*whispers*

Mark's face is sinking into itself

Finding Things

"I feel like you always find things in either your crotch or your boobs"

"I know, right?! There's so much space!"

45 Page Views Last Month

Response: "At least that means one person was looking at it every day."

For those who are confused #of days in a month ≠ 45

Canadian

"They don't look Canadian. Is that racist?"

-In response to a Canadian band's music video.

Three Way Call

Wait...Oh sh*t, it costs money?!

*hangs up*

Drunk History

We promise to contact Drunk History in an attempt to continue the great tradition. From this point on, we shall get out the Crackers and continue...

"Why did you put the capital C?"

"Because we may or may not be talking about white people?"

Police

"Okay, so we were waiting at the stop light and then the Police-cop..."

*devolves into giggles and body shaking laughter*

*later interprets the meaning of the statement*

Old Women

"Do you know how much I don't care if an old woman cries?"

-In reaction to an episode of the Mindy Project